Sunday, November 16, 2008

18 Years Today

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

No, not my birthday {again}. It's been eighteen years since my father, mother, and I came to the U.S. Eighteen years since my mother has seen her home. Eighteen years since I left the place that I've yearned for like no other. Eighteen years since we escaped the horror that has made so many of us hate India...

I've been thinking about this all day, and I guess I somehow imagined some really poignant post or something. Now that I'm here, though, I'm not sure what exactly I want to say.

I've wondered many times how our lives might have been different had we never moved here, and stayed in India. So much would have been different. Our family might never have received Amrit. I might not have fallen in love with reading and writing, or photography, or all the other things I love so much. I might never have met either of my best friends, or so many of the other people I love and call friends. I don't want to say so much would have been missing from my life, because who knows what I might have had in my life in India - but things would have been pretty different. Or maybe not. We'll never know, will we?

I'm not sure exactly how I feel. I just know how happy, and also how sad I felt when I finally got to go to India in 2006. I have seriously considered living in India once I'm an 'adult', but there are a lot of things to think about. I'm just going to say I'm still a little young for that, and put it out of my mind.

How about you? Were you born in India, or whatever country you reside in now? If you were born in India and live somewhere else now, how do you feel about that? How do you feel about India?

bhullchukmaaf
Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

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edit: I keep accidentally saving as draft instead of publishing the post. Whoops!

p.s. Comments replied to.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

Wow, bloggie, it's been 3 years since my first post.. And 194 public posts later, here we are. Once again at the celebration of the birth of Sikhi..

I don't know if I've ever written another post that satisfied me as much as this one.

So much has happened since then, and so much has changed. I haven't done a good job of chronicling it all, though I wish I had, but I'm not going to dwell on that. I'm just going to work harder at doing what I want from now on, so there are no complaints afterward.

I want to take this moment to thank anyone who's ever stopped by to read something, asked a question or answered one, laughed at something I said, or left a few kind words to help make my day better. I also want to apologize for broken promises made on this blog {yes, there are a few..}, and I also want to apologize to those of you who I have lost touch with. Only one or two of you will probably ever read this, but there are definitely more. I lost some good friends when that happened - but know that I'll never forget you.

And thank you Guru Sahib, for all that You have given me, and all You have taken away. This blog isn't really a great view into my life anymore. I just never really got into it with this blog, not the way I was with the one before it, but that will change, with Guru Sahib's Kirpaa.

I love you, bloggie.

I love You, Guru Ji.

And I love you, Sangat Ji.

<3.

bhullchukmaaf
Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

Saturday, November 01, 2008

Happy Birthday, Novtej Singh!

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Though I doubt he's ever going to read this..

Happy Birthday, Novtej Veerji!

Internet ne duniya kinni chhoti kar dithi. It's because of blogging and forums that I've met and made friends with so many Sikhs from all around the world, and I really cherish it. Though things have changed a lot since I first started blogging, I haven't let go of all these people. Some whose blogs I follow(ed) silently, some whose I left a comment or two on - some of whom I became good friends with, and out of those are the few who I am still friends with.

I'm just in awe at where technology has taken us, and what it's provided us with - and I'm very glad I happened upon Veerji's blog somehow, because it's one I've loved reading since the beginning. I know we don't really know each other, but it's cool to 'know' him!

I hope you had a lovely day, and may Guru Sahib bless you always with Chardikalaa _/\_

And now I feel a little bad about hijacking a birthday post =p but...

We just came back from Guruduara Sahib a little while ago. The lights are all still up, including the blue light tube wrapped around the Nishan Sahib. I went outside to do prakarma.. I stood in front of the Nishan Sahib, and when I looked up, I could see the rain falling in the light from the spotlights on the ground. When I came back to the place where I started from and looked up again, I kept my face up and eyes open as long as I could - I was in absolute awe. I was just mesmerized. It was so beautiful, and I just couldn't get over it.

Why do I get so emotional over such little things? I find so often my heart welling up with emotion, swelling fit to burst, and it's like this ache inside from all the beauty I see/experience. And then something happens, and I feel like rain is pouring through me, inside me, washing it all away, and I'm empty, and it's all gone... Until it happens again.

I'm so weird.

bhull chuk maaf karna Jeeo _/\_

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh