Wednesday, December 31, 2008

The end of an era.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

Here we go.


Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsaa Waheguru Ji Ki Fatehh

Sunday, November 16, 2008

18 Years Today

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

No, not my birthday {again}. It's been eighteen years since my father, mother, and I came to the U.S. Eighteen years since my mother has seen her home. Eighteen years since I left the place that I've yearned for like no other. Eighteen years since we escaped the horror that has made so many of us hate India...

I've been thinking about this all day, and I guess I somehow imagined some really poignant post or something. Now that I'm here, though, I'm not sure what exactly I want to say.

I've wondered many times how our lives might have been different had we never moved here, and stayed in India. So much would have been different. Our family might never have received Amrit. I might not have fallen in love with reading and writing, or photography, or all the other things I love so much. I might never have met either of my best friends, or so many of the other people I love and call friends. I don't want to say so much would have been missing from my life, because who knows what I might have had in my life in India - but things would have been pretty different. Or maybe not. We'll never know, will we?

I'm not sure exactly how I feel. I just know how happy, and also how sad I felt when I finally got to go to India in 2006. I have seriously considered living in India once I'm an 'adult', but there are a lot of things to think about. I'm just going to say I'm still a little young for that, and put it out of my mind.

How about you? Were you born in India, or whatever country you reside in now? If you were born in India and live somewhere else now, how do you feel about that? How do you feel about India?

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh


edit: I keep accidentally saving as draft instead of publishing the post. Whoops!

p.s. Comments replied to.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

Wow, bloggie, it's been 3 years since my first post.. And 194 public posts later, here we are. Once again at the celebration of the birth of Sikhi..

I don't know if I've ever written another post that satisfied me as much as this one.

So much has happened since then, and so much has changed. I haven't done a good job of chronicling it all, though I wish I had, but I'm not going to dwell on that. I'm just going to work harder at doing what I want from now on, so there are no complaints afterward.

I want to take this moment to thank anyone who's ever stopped by to read something, asked a question or answered one, laughed at something I said, or left a few kind words to help make my day better. I also want to apologize for broken promises made on this blog {yes, there are a few..}, and I also want to apologize to those of you who I have lost touch with. Only one or two of you will probably ever read this, but there are definitely more. I lost some good friends when that happened - but know that I'll never forget you.

And thank you Guru Sahib, for all that You have given me, and all You have taken away. This blog isn't really a great view into my life anymore. I just never really got into it with this blog, not the way I was with the one before it, but that will change, with Guru Sahib's Kirpaa.

I love you, bloggie.

I love You, Guru Ji.

And I love you, Sangat Ji.


Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

Saturday, November 01, 2008

Happy Birthday, Novtej Singh!

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Though I doubt he's ever going to read this..

Happy Birthday, Novtej Veerji!

Internet ne duniya kinni chhoti kar dithi. It's because of blogging and forums that I've met and made friends with so many Sikhs from all around the world, and I really cherish it. Though things have changed a lot since I first started blogging, I haven't let go of all these people. Some whose blogs I follow(ed) silently, some whose I left a comment or two on - some of whom I became good friends with, and out of those are the few who I am still friends with.

I'm just in awe at where technology has taken us, and what it's provided us with - and I'm very glad I happened upon Veerji's blog somehow, because it's one I've loved reading since the beginning. I know we don't really know each other, but it's cool to 'know' him!

I hope you had a lovely day, and may Guru Sahib bless you always with Chardikalaa _/\_

And now I feel a little bad about hijacking a birthday post =p but...

We just came back from Guruduara Sahib a little while ago. The lights are all still up, including the blue light tube wrapped around the Nishan Sahib. I went outside to do prakarma.. I stood in front of the Nishan Sahib, and when I looked up, I could see the rain falling in the light from the spotlights on the ground. When I came back to the place where I started from and looked up again, I kept my face up and eyes open as long as I could - I was in absolute awe. I was just mesmerized. It was so beautiful, and I just couldn't get over it.

Why do I get so emotional over such little things? I find so often my heart welling up with emotion, swelling fit to burst, and it's like this ache inside from all the beauty I see/experience. And then something happens, and I feel like rain is pouring through me, inside me, washing it all away, and I'm empty, and it's all gone... Until it happens again.

I'm so weird.

bhull chuk maaf karna Jeeo _/\_

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Friday, October 31, 2008


Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

This Shabad is by Guru Amar Daas Ji in Raag Vadhans on Ang 587

ਪਉੜੀ ॥
ਤਿਸੁ ਗੁਰ ਕਉ ਹਉ ਵਾਰਿਆ ਜਿਨਿ ਹਰਿ ਕੀ ਹਰਿ ਕਥਾ ਸੁਣਾਈ ॥
ਤਿਸੁ ਗੁਰ ਕਉ ਸਦ ਬਲਿਹਾਰਣੈ ਜਿਨਿ ਹਰਿ ਸੇਵਾ ਬਣਤ ਬਣਾਈ ॥
ਸੋ ਸਤਿਗੁਰੁ ਪਿਆਰਾ ਮੇਰੈ ਨਾਲਿ ਹੈ ਜਿਥੈ ਕਿਥੈ ਮੈਨੋ ਲਏ ਛਡਾਈ ॥
ਤਿਸੁ ਗੁਰ ਕਉ ਸਾਬਾਸਿ ਹੈ ਜਿਨਿ ਹਰਿ ਸੋਝੀ ਪਾਈ ॥
ਨਾਨਕੁ ਗੁਰ ਵਿਟਹੁ ਵਾਰਿਆ ਜਿਨਿ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮੁ ਦੀਆ ਮੇਰੇ ਮਨ ਕੀ ਆਸ ਪੁਰਾਈ ॥੫॥

I am a sacrifice to the Guru, who recites the sermon of the Lord's Teachings.
I am forever a sacrifice to that Guru, who has led me to serve the Lord.
That Beloved True Guru is always with me; wherever I may be, He will save me.
Most blessed is that Guru, who imparts understanding of the Lord.
O Nanak, I am a sacrifice to the Guru, who has given me the Lord's Name, and fulfilled the desires of my mind. ||5|


I can't believe I made the same mistake on Flickr and my blog! I wrote this post last Monday, guess I accidentally saved it as a draft rather than publishing the post.

I will reply to comments soon..

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsaa Waheguru Ji Ki Fatehh

Monday, October 06, 2008

Guess what?

Reach for itt.., originally uploaded by TeraRoop11.

I started a Sehaj Paath. I started my first Sehaj Paath.


Click on the picture for a slightly more detailed description.


Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Kannaa(n) nu hathh

I made the mistake of opening a newspaper today.

A Punjabi one, at that.



mm. How time flies.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Bay Area Youth Keertan Darbar

Monday, July 21, 2008

Two Months of Mumbledy-Jumbledy

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

There seem to have been a lot of events/incidents in my life recently that have caused me much, much confusion. Just regular things - like the Smagam, for example. But things have happened at each of these events {even the ones I didn't attend but somehow ended up involved in..?} which have made me think so much I feel like my head is going to explode.

So for the past while, I've been recording my thought processes and ideas in a more private manner, and that's why I haven't been updating. I just couldn't split the focus between my.. journal, I guess? and this.

I feel so very lost among all these thoughts of mine. They're all in reaction to things that have happened over the past few months, and they're making me feel quite bad. I want to talk about them, but some of them don't make sense without explaining what happened, and I don't want to risk giving anyone/anything away.

*sigh* This is a really sucky time. Life is looking good, but there's all this crazy conflict. A lot of it I'm not even involved in, but watching everything that's going on is making me sad. Making me wonder.

rawr. Does anyone get it?

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

Monday, May 26, 2008

Update on Benches Situation

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

As I added to Wednesday's post in an update, the benches were removed sometime Wednesday night. I waited until I could gather a certain amount of information to make this post, and I know a little bit more than I knew Thursday.

Apparently - and this is pretty much from what I've heard around, I still haven't been able to verify anything - the benches were not a move made by the committee as a whole. It seems that Devinder Singh Channa {member of the Supreme Council}, along with one other person, is responsible for the benches being put in. I won't add that name just yet, until I've confirmed it as well as I can. In the middle of the night on Wednesday, Harjot Singh Khalsa {president of the committee} went to the Guruduara Sahib, roused at least one person for sure {who lives at Guruduara Sahib and does Sevaa there}, and with his help, had the benches removed.

Bravo. Now what were Channa and ----- thinking? A lot of the youth were pretty upset and riled by this. I'm glad to see at least that much; even if some of the people in charge of 'running' the Guruduara Sahib don't seem to have much sense, at least the youth are aware of some rights and wrongs.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Beadbi at Fremont Gurughar - Benches in Darbar

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Around 4:15 PM today, I got a call from Bhenji to inform me of something that really shocked me.

In a surprise move - totally out of the blue, really - Fremont Gurughar Prabandhaks decided to install benches inside the Darbar Hall.

I could not believe my ears. What on earth were they thinking? Like, seriously? Were they all taking a hot air balloon ride together, and the balloon burst, and they crashed and landed on their heads or something?

So we went to Guruduara Sahib tonight, and I decided to take my camera with me {a bit of photojournalism =p}, and here are a couple of snaps:

As you can see, the benches are located at the back of the hall. I haven't heard anything directly from any committee members, so everyone's assuming they are doing this for the bajurg who have trouble sitting on the floor. Honest to God, maybe once every 8-10 months, I see someone bring a chair into Darbar to sit on, because they have trouble sitting on the floor. Installing these benches will probably invite those to sit on them who would have otherwise sat on the floor in their absence.

This is really unexpected coming from Fremont, I mean, the people in charge here {and even those not in charge} have done some dumb things in the past, but this is unacceptable. We didn't see anyone we could approach about it when were there tonight, but on Sunday we're definitely going to be having a talk with someone!


bhull chuk maaf karna Jeeo _/\_

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsaaa! Waheguru Ji Ki Fatehh!


eDit: Update as of Thursday, 05/22/08 - the benches have been removed!

More info as it comes, I suppose? Still haven't heard anything direct from the prabandhak committee.

Sunday, May 11, 2008


My own little corner, safe, controversy free.

Why am I reading more and more things about our Panth lately that are breaking my heart?

[ediT {yes, I'm still doing that!}: above posted at 8:21 PM]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

Okay. So. I was on the forums again today after I don't know how many months, and after reading through a few very heartbreaking threads, one really dumb one, and some good ones that no one really seemed to care about, I read this one and listened to some good Kirtan, then read this one, and felt pretty stupid.

When I walked into Darbar this morning, the stage was full with about 3 different Ragi jathhas and some miscellaneous Singhs, and the main Ragi was talking about how Waheguru Ji gives us everything we needs, and how he takes care of us {exactly what singhbj is talking about in that second thread}, and he also used the thuk

ਦੇਦਾ ਦੇ ਲੈਦੇਿਕ ਪਾਿਹ॥
The Great Giver keeps on giving, while those who receive grow weary of receiving.

While I listened to him emphasize this point again and again with so much josh, I felt almost as if there was an invisible hand sort of squeezing my heart. I've gotten much better about wanting things - we all do with age - but when my turn finally came to walk up and speak with Guru Ji, and bow my head to Him, my Ardas was very different from usual. I heard myself ask nothing this time, nothing at all.. It was a strange feeling, but a good one, not asking Guru Sahib to give me anything at all, or the Panth. I felt so.. free. Like I was no longer bound to all these ups and downs that we face on earth, as individuals and as a collective, a community. I mean, why do I have to ask for anything, anyway? He's taking care of me, of us all - He always has. He knows what He's doing, and doesn't need 'reminders' from me, right?

I thought about blogging about that, but had completely forgotten about it as so many upsetting events throughout the day pretty much drove it out of my head. I can't keep letting the bad overshadow the good, I just can't. So even while the day was good, {it was Sikh Women's Appreciation Day at Fremont Gurdwara Sahib - can't believe the year's rolled around to this point in time once again, as I think about what I wrote here} at the end, I find myself feeling a little weary of all the goings on.

So, in a moment of fury and desperation, pain at the sight of the haalath of our Panth, I wrote what I did above. I forgot about the good things - the people in this Panth who are not as bad as the overall haalath seems. I can't allow that to happen..

Anyway, I guess that's my point. My concern. *sigh* Need sleep. At least now I'll fall asleep happy =)

bhullchukmaaf karna Jeeo.. I'm a total moron.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

p.s. I was going to change the title, but couldn't think of anything to fit the new mood of the post. meh =/

Tuesday, May 06, 2008


Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Regular blogging has resumed. I apologize profusely, a gajillion times, for neglecting my blog, and continually going back on my promises to write a new post, write a new post. In the past couple of weeks, I must have sat down to write a post at least 10 times - but nothing came. My mind swirled with a hundred different thoughts, but none of them could connect with my fingers, it seems. Life's been very. . . lively lately. I've had several major things to think a lot about recently, and I feel so burdened. It's a good change from not thinking at all, though - I feel like some of my principles and beliefs have become stronger, while others have become clearer. I've learned a bit about myself, and it's interesting to see how the events of the world around me have affected me - more interestingly, which events have affected me.

For now, though, I choose to leave you with words written by someone else. I hope they have the same impact on you as they did on me, and I'll be back soon with something for you to think about. Poverty II is also an upcoming post.

Taken from Sikh Activist Network.

How Do You Thank...

How do you thank a woman who fought for you when you were enslaved?

How do you thank a sister who watched her brother hung from the gallows when you needed a freedom fighter?

How do you thank a farmer who worked under the hot sun to grow crops, when you needed food?

How do you thank a humanitarian who gave money when you needed support?

How do you thank a wife who watched her husband go to war when you needed protection?

How do you thank a widow who raised her son as a soldier to take her husband's place?

If your India,
you thank them by raping them in the street and leaving them for dead

- Jasdeep Singh

The Third World

boring are the cries of that orphan child
they eat their lobster and steak while her hunger makes her cry for a while

so they go to sleep in their warm bed
while she sleeps in the street with sugar plumbs dancing in her head

what can she do to make her voice heard?
she's not American, British, or Canadian, she's just a faceless baby dying in the third world

no one's ever heard of Darfur, India, or Afghanistan
so no one's ever heard of the little girl with the broken hands

she used to cry at night, but what good did it do her?
men used to come and do things to her
she just obeyed that old man
telling her to be good to the tourists visiting Thailand

she learned to grow up
on water and crumbs
looking for food in brazil's slums

she had to fight the dogs,
some of them were mean
but this was her garbage dump, this is where she was queen

she even learned to avoid the gun shots in the alley
you have to watch out for grenades if you grow up Somali,

I’m sure your a bit sad, stop reading and close your eyes

you don’t want me to tell you how the little orphan girl dies
you don’t want to imagine the sound of her last cries
but don’t worry, she didn’t make a sound, nothing was heard,
she wasn’t American, British, Canadian, she was just a faceless baby who died in the third world

- Jasdeep Singh

ਬਾਗੀ (Baagi) - Rebel

ਬਾਗੀ ਨਾਮ ਸਾਡਾ,
Rebel is our name

ਬਾਗੀ ਜਾਤ ਸਾਡੀ,
Rebel is our caste

ਸਾਡਾ ਬਾਗੀਆਂ ਨਾਲ ਵੀਹਾਰ ਲੋਕੋ,
Even our business is with Rebels.

ਗੁਰੂ ਦਸ਼ਮੇਸ਼ ਬਾਗੀ,
Sri Guru Gobind Singh Ji was a Rebel

ਨਲੂਆ ਵੀਰ ਬਾਗੀ,
Hari Singh Nalwa was a Rebel

ਸਾਡਾ ਬਾਗੀ ਪੰਥ ਪਰਿਵਾਰ ਲੋਕੋ,
Our Panth is a Rebel

ਭਗਤ ਸਿੰਘ ਬਾਗੀ ਊੱਧਮ ਸਿੰਘ ਬਾਗੀ,
Bhagat Singh and Udham Singh were Rebels

ਸਾਡਾ ਬਾਗੀ ਭਿੰਡਰਾਂਵਾਲਾ ਸਰਦਾਰ ਲੋਕੋ,
Sant Bhindranwale is a Rebel

ਅਸੀਂ ਰਹੀਏ ਸਦਾ ਬਾਗੀ ਖਾਲਸਾ ਜੀ,
We will always live as rebel, Oh Khalsa!

ਹੁਣ ਬਾਗੀਆਂ ਤੋਂ ਕੰਬੂ ਸਰਕਾਰ ਲੋਕੋ....
And now, the government will tremble in fear of Rebels...

- Unknown Author

Submitted by comrades from Kaurs United

There are some more, and they're all good, but these particularly stood out to me, and made me a little emotional {surprise, surprise, right?}. You should go read the other ones, too.

Well.. For now, that's all. Can't wait until the semester's over - May 23rd approaches ever closer! =)

Fare thee well!

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008