Saturday, September 23, 2006

Happy Birthday, Papa Ji

I love you very much. I couldn't imagine having anyone else as a father - life would just be retarded without you as my Daddy {no offense to other wonderful daddies}

I know, I know, it wouldn't be like that, 'cause I'd be different too, but hush, I'm just trying to get this right =)

You've given me a lot. Yes, it was given to me by Pitha Ji through you, but as a mortal, I thank you for it all. I would not be the at least somewhat Sikh I am today if it wasn't for Guru Ji through you. You and I are so much alike and I am so conscious of it that if I were to lose you, I'd lose half of myself if not more. I look up to you more than you know, dear one, and I'd kill if you asked me to.

The cool thing is I know you wouldn't unless I already wanted to anyway. Cause we're just like that hehe

I know what you're going through.. and I know what you want to do, where you want to be. I want to do everything humanly possible to help you get that.

I know I've disappointed you a lot in life. I've never been the daughter I should be. Yes, you've been proud of me a lot, too.. but isn't that because of you and Mumma Ji anyway? Whatever I did to make you proud.. I learned from you, Papa Ji, and Mumma Ji. I'm nothing without you. I'm not my own person, no.. because I adore you, and I always want to feel and think what you feel and think. Most of the time it's naturally this way. One-fourth of the time it's because I'll give in and let go and agree with you {because we're both the same amount of right and wrong anyway}, and the remaining one-fourth is my rebellion where I'm just like you and refuse to give in.

I want to make you proud. I want to be what you want me to be, because you have my interest at heart, and you could never want to hurt me. I love you, Papa Ji, so veryy muchh, and I'm so very proud of you. We've had it easy, real easy, especially in comparison to others. But you, too, have gone through certain things in life that I wish I could erase, and take on the pain of into my own account. You're my inspiration, and you're my second brightest shining light {and I don't have to apologize to you for that because He comes first for you, too, doesn't He papa =)}

I'm always your LITTLE kid. always, always. My only regret is that I was born a girl, because if I was born a boy, I could stay with you a little longer. If I'd been born a boy, then I could do more things with you which I can't now because I'm a girl. But that's okay..

I don't know how to say what I'm trying to, but just know.. you're one of the most important people to me in this world. After Guru Ji I love you most {sorry amma}. I pray that someday I can make you soo proud that my disappointments won't hurt anymore.

Happy Birthday my silly daddy.. like me you don't believe in them but they don't hurt.. I pray with all my heart that you get what you're looking for.. I'd even give up my having it if you could only get this wish of yours.. because.. living without it, I know how it hurts.

I know you'll never read this 'cause you know I have a bloggie.. but you never read it =) you don't even know where it is hehe

I love you. =)

your daughter.. your jhallaa hehe remember you called me that on my first birthday and i started crying and ran to mommy.. and right into the camera hahah..

I love you =)

Waheguru Ji Ka KHalsa.. Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

p.s. i'll reply to all comments {on mine and your bloggies} soon. pwomise.

pps. sorry mumma ji..

ppps. still havent said what i wanta say


thank You Guru Ji.. thank You.

One response to “Happy Birthday, Papa Ji”

Anonymous said...

many happy returns!

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