Only You can save me from myself.

Earlier tonight, I was so sure I was going to blog again for the first time in a long time. I was planning out my post and everything, because I felt it was such an important thing to share.

How important could it have been, if I can't even remember what it was I wanted to talk about?

Ogled

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

I forgot the post I was planning in my head this morning, so the one that should have come next will be first, instead.

This is a rather touchy topic, so I apologize if any sentiments are hurt, but a) I've become a bit desensitized and lost my old sense of modesty, I guess you could say {I'm much more open and, yes, mature, than I was a few years ago}, and 2) it's a topic that needs discussing in some way or form, especially because it's important to me personally.

Sometime last week, a girlfriend and I were hanging out and decided to grab a bite to eat somewhere. The day started out pretty cold, so I donned my trusty KU hoodie {which was purposely bought a size too big}, and thinking that I wouldn't be taking it off, threw on a shirt I've sort of grown out of {I've been meaning to clean out my closet for a year now, it just doesn't seem to happen.. I stand there and stare and stare and stare, but all the clothes are still there!}. Okay, sorry with the lame jokes.. Just trying not to let the topic of this post get me down. roar.

Anyway, it had gotten pretty warm, enough for me to become uncomfortable in my over-sized hoodie. I figured it was no big deal if I took it off for a while. Just long enough to walk from the parking space to Subway, get a sandwich made, and head right back. We get out of the car and walk across the parking lot, and hit the Starbucks. There are two men sitting outside at one of those little tables, and they look at us. A passing glance I understand, but these guys are looking. I'm sort of used to it, because this particular friend of mine dresses somewhat revealingly {by good-girl Indian standards at the very, very least}, so I'm used to males staring in our direction whenever I'm with her. But I was shocked to find that one of the dudes was checking ME out.

Now, I've led a sheltered life. Only been hit on by creeps {I seriously mean creeps, I'm not just calling a very nice young man a creep 'cause he came on to me}. I dress pretty conservatively in regards to how much of me can actually be seen. Heck, I hate wearing half-sleeve t-shirts! And though every girl I know says that guys will check you out even if they think you're ugly, I guess I'm just not used to it. So, like I said, I was surprised. I let it go. People are people, men are men, etc.

We walk on. We pass by the UPS store and are at Subway now, but still have to walk some distance to the door. There are three guys sitting outside in front of the Subway. The first two guys had been older, the younger one maybe early to mid-thirties, but these guys were our age, 20 at the oldest. They could NOT have made it any more obvious that they were checking the both of us out. I'm trying to leave race out of it, but I do feel that in this case, both age and race combined led to the difference in style and conspicuousness of ogling, but that's beside the point.

The point here is, despite being really covered up, I was still being checked out from head to toe by guys I don't know, and feeling pretty damn low about it. I know some women will consider it a compliment, but in most cases, it just makes me feel cheap. I knew girls in high school that wore rags and complained about guys staring at them and hitting on them, etc. I think that's just stupid. They ask why they can't dress however they want - no one's stopping you. Dress like a prostitute if you like, but then don't complain when guys look at you everywhere you go. Most of you are asking for it and then deny it to save face among the girls. Those who aren't - what do you want when you do it, then? Consider that. If you dress provocatively, you have to deal with the consequences, and I understand this.

But what about people like me? Girls who go out of their way to find clothes that they like, that also aren't revealing. Do you know how hard it is to shop around here? Find clothes with a high enough neckline, long enough arms, long enough torso, not tight or clingy or see-through. I mean, I have seriously considered {multiple times} just wearing a suit everywhere to save myself the trouble, but I really do like wearing jeans, etc.

So why am I rambling about this? Because it bothers me that no matter what I do, I have to somehow come to terms with the fact that I'm probably going to get checked out everywhere I go, and this includes Nagar Kirtans, while I'm wearing a chola {though this is a separate blog post, I think}. What will it take? Should I wear a burka? Or will guys start making up features for me then?

I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I know many, many people will say I am too modest and am overreacting, and that's fine if they think so. I can't help it - being raised in an Indian and a Sikh household, these things were not a part of my life. I've only recently started actually hanging out with friends outside of someone's house/the Guruduara Sahib, etc. My experience with the outside world was limited to high school. I know guys will say girls check them out, too, but I think less women are as obvious about it as men are. I don't. I'll be totally honest - most of the time when I'm around guys, my head is down, unless it's someone I know and am comfortable with, and even then I'm too busy being shy and looking away. I'm just weird like that, and I know I'm the exception to the rule.

*sigh* I'm exasperated. With myself for the stupid blog post, and with those men who don't care how the women they're staring at might feel. I wasn't inviting looks. I didn't ask for it. I dress carefully so as to try and avoid this situation, but I'm sure now that it never works. So what do I do? Accept this as another consequence of being born female? We seem to have a lot of those, don't we..

And I'm not trying to make it seem like women have it SO hard and that all men should feel guilty. No - I know my brothers have it rough, too. But being a woman {so weird calling myself that, I think I'll just stick to girl}, I'm worried about myself and my sisters before you all :p

Grr. My apologies for a pretty useless post.

I think I'm more interested in guys' opinions on this than the ladies'. I know what the various views of women are - I want to hear the guys' side for once.

bhullchukmaaf
Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

A Thousand Words

...Give or take a few ;)

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

I'm still trying to get used to my life. I'm very emotional, very excited, and very busy! I've got so much going on, it's amazing. I really don't feel like I've bitten off more than I can chew {excuse my cliché}, but I know I'm definitely not managing my time properly. For example, I have a week's worth of math homework due Friday, and I haven't even begun yet. I should probably be doing it right now, but.. Knowing me, I'll do everything else and then do the homework tomorrow! I'm trying to change this, I really would like to be on top of all my work and not worrying about it all the time.

I've got all my projects on my mind all the time! So I feel silly and can't really concentrate on writing a blog post. I figured, what're pictures for if you can't blog 'em? hehe

So here we go! A few of my latest Flickr uploads.

Ardaas ||, originally uploaded by TeraRoop11.

These are just my thoughts, so please forgive me if I am incorrect.

We know very well that Sahib Sri Guru Arjan Dev Ji Maharaj Sachay Patshah set an unparallel example in human history by accepting to sit on the hot iron plate (thathee thavee), and had hot sand poured over His head. We also know that by this shaheedi Gurujee taught us to live in bhana, and not use powers. Along with all this, we should also take a look at a little background behind Gurujee's shaheedi. Chandu wanted to take revenge after Gurujee rejected his daughter's rishta with Sahib Sri Guru Hargobind Sahib Ji Maharaj Sachay Patshah. This was done because Chandu uttered severely insulting words for Gurughar. The Sikh sangat of Delhi requested Gurujee not to accept any rishta with Chandu. Also, it was Chandu who ordered all the tortures on Gurujee. Now the way I see it, Gurujee accepted shaheedi just to uphold the honor of the bachans of His Sikhs. He suffered that unimaginable torture just for maintaining the dignity of the request of His Sikhs. This makes me think, if my Guru can accept this worst torture just for fulfilling the request of His Sikhs, how can we ever doubt such a Guru while doing Ardas? Wouldn't He listen to our Ardas as well?

Sahib Sri Guru Tegh Bahadur Ji Maharaj Sachay Patshah attained shaheedi to save Hinduism. This was another unparallel example in human history, where a "man of God" gave up His life for a faith totally different to His own, and infact even a lot opposite to His own. This makes me think, won't He save me if I follow His Hukam? He made the maximum sacrifice for those who followed a faith that was a totally different one, so if I live by His words, how can I doubt that He will save me?

Sahib-E-Kamaal Sri Guru Gobind Singh Ji Maharaj Sachay Patshah Kalgidhar Shahenshah sacrificed both His parents, all 4 sons, and His dearest Sikhs for people like us. He said "Panth vassay mai ujjarraan mann chaao ghanera", meaning "I sincerely wish that my Panth flourishes even if I have to get ruined". He gave it all up for people like you and me. So how can we ever doubt such a Guru that He won't listen to our Ardas?

Gurujee set an example for us in these 3 ways. There are countless others but my atom sized brain is mentioning only 3 here. He sat on the thathee thavee just to tell us "I do listen to you". He sacrificed Himself for another faith so that we are assured that He can alot more for us if we live by His hukam, so there He tells us "I will listen to you". He sacrificed His entire family, just to tell us "I can give up everyone/everything just for you".

Please forgive me if my words are not making sense. Maybe I've been thinking too much into this.

~ Mehtab Singh

forums.panthic.net/index.php?showtopic=34076

. . . kilbikh harnan(g) as sarnan(g) ||, originally uploaded by TeraRoop11.

This Shabad is by Sri Guru Gobind Singh Ji in Dasam Granth on Ang 94

ਤ੍ਰਿਭੰਗੀ ਛੰਦ ॥
thribha(n)gee shha(n)dh ||
Tribhangi Chhandh

ਖਗ ਖੰਡ ਬਿਹੰਡੰ ਖਲ ਦਲ ਖੰਡੰ ਅਤਿ ਰਣ ਮੰਡੰ ਬਰ ਬੰਡੰ ॥
khag kha(n)dd biha(n)dda(n) khal dhal kha(n)dda(n) ath ran ma(n)dda(n) bar ba(n)dda(n) ||
The sword hacks and breaks ruthlessly into pieces and fragments the hordes of fools. This vigorous (weapon) adorns the battlefield.

ਭੁਜ ਦੰਡ ਅਖੰਡੰ ਤੇਜ ਪ੍ਰਚੰਡੰ ਜੋਤਿ ਅਮੰਡੰ ਭਾਨ ਪ੍ਰਭੰ ॥
bhuj dha(n)dd akha(n)dda(n) thaej pracha(n)dda(n) joth ama(n)dda(n) bhaan prabha(n) ||
Its long (forceful) arm is unbreakable. Its awesome splendour overshadows the lustre of the Sun.

ਸੁਖ ਸੰਤਾ ਕਰਣੰ ਦੁਰਮਤਿ ਦਰਣੰ ਕਿਲਬਿਖ ਹਰਣੰ ਅਸਿ ਸਰਣੰ ॥
sukh sa(n)thaa karana(n) dhuramath dharana(n) kilabikh harana(n) as sarana(n) ||
It looks after the welfare of the Saints and pulverises the wicked. It destroys the sins and I seek Its refuge.

ਜੈ ਜੈ ਜਗ ਕਾਰਣ ਸ੍ਰਿਸਟਿ ਉਬਾਰਣ ਮਮ ਪ੍ਰਤਿਪਾਰਣ ਜੈ ਤੇਗੰ ॥੨॥
jai jai jag kaaran srisatt oubaaran mam prathipaaran jai thaega(n) ||2||
Hail, hail to the Creator of the world, the Saviour of the creation. My protector Scimitar, hail to Thee.(2)

uch dumaalarha., originally uploaded by TeraRoop11.

humbled.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

I realized I basically have automatic blog posts if I used what I post on Flickr =p

I've been feeling very humbled lately.. And I don't mean my usual low self-esteem, lack of confidence deal.. I mean really humbled.

What did it? Hearing stories of modern day Gursikhs who have gone through so much and are doing so much.. And seeing members of my own Sangat put so much hard work and effort and love into a Seva I was blessed to be a part of.

Since I realized the feeling, it's just being added to on a daily basis.. I've been short on actual time to even write in my personal journal, something I need badly to rectify, because I want to remember this feeling and its causes, hold onto it as long as I can..

Thank you so much, Pithaa Jee.. I feel like I'm seeing through myself to something else.. There are things about this picture/post that would greatly trouble the perfectionist TeraRoop.. but this feeling is helping me to move beyond all of that..

I really hope it stays. Kirpa karo, Pithaa Jee.. please don't let me lose sight of You or Your true premis _/\_

bhullchukmaaf
Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

ਪਿਰ ਸੰਗਿ ਮੂਠੜੀਏ <3.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

ਪਿਰ ਸੰਗਿ ਮੂਠੜੀਏ , originally uploaded by TeraRoop11.

ਧਨਾਸਰੀ ਛੰਤ ਮਹਲਾ ੧ ॥
Dhanaasaree, Chhant, First Mehla:

ਪਿਰ ਸੰਗਿ ਮੂਠੜੀਏ ਖਬਰਿ ਨ ਪਾਈਆ ਜੀਉ ॥
Your Husband Lord is with you, O deluded soul-bride, but you do are not aware of Him.

ਮਸਤਕਿ ਲਿਖਿਅੜਾ ਲੇਖੁ ਪੁਰਬਿ ਕਮਾਇਆ ਜੀਉ ॥
Your destiny is written on your forehead, according to your past actions.

ਲੇਖੁ ਨ ਮਿਟਈ ਪੁਰਬਿ ਕਮਾਇਆ ਕਿਆ ਜਾਣਾ ਕਿਆ ਹੋਸੀ ॥
This inscription of past deeds cannot be erased; what do I know about what will happen?

ਗੁਣੀ ਅਚਾਰਿ ਨਹੀ ਰੰਗਿ ਰਾਤੀ ਅਵਗੁਣ ਬਹਿ ਬਹਿ ਰੋਸੀ ॥
You have not adopted a virtuous lifestyle, and you are not attuned to the Lord's Love; you sit there, crying over your past misdeeds.

ਧਨੁ ਜੋਬਨੁ ਆਕ ਕੀ ਛਾਇਆ ਬਿਰਧਿ ਭਏ ਦਿਨ ਪੁੰਨਿਆ ॥
Wealth and youth are like the shade of the bitter swallow-wort plant; you are growing old, and your days are coming to their end.

ਨਾਨਕ ਨਾਮ ਬਿਨਾ ਦੋਹਾਗਣਿ ਛੂਟੀ ਝੂਠਿ ਵਿਛੁੰਨਿਆ ॥੧॥
O Nanak, without the Naam, the Name of the Lord, you shall end up as a discarded, divorced bride; your own falsehood shall separate you from the Lord. ||1||

ਬੂਡੀ ਘਰੁ ਘਾਲਿਓ ਗੁਰ ਕੈ ਭਾਇ ਚਲੋ ॥
You have drowned, and your house is ruined; walk in the Way of the Guru's Will.

ਸਾਚਾ ਨਾਮੁ ਧਿਆਇ ਪਾਵਹਿ ਸੁਖਿ ਮਹਲੋ ॥
Meditate on the True Name, and you shall find peace in the Mansion of the Lord's Presence.

ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮੁ ਧਿਆਏ ਤਾ ਸੁਖੁ ਪਾਏ ਪੇਈਅੜੈ ਦਿਨ ਚਾਰੇ ॥
Meditate on the Lord's Name, and you shall find peace; your stay in this world shall last only four days.

ਨਿਜ ਘਰਿ ਜਾਇ ਬਹੈ ਸਚੁ ਪਾਏ ਅਨਦਿਨੁ ਨਾਲਿ ਪਿਆਰੇ ॥
Sit in the home of your own being, and you shall find Truth; night and day, be with your Beloved.

ਜਾਇ ਬਹੈ ਸਚੁ ਪਾਏ ਅਨਦਿਨੁ ਨਾਲਿ ਪਿਆਰੇ ॥
Without loving devotion, you cannot dwell in your own home - listen, everyone!

ਨਾਨਕ ਸਰਸੀ ਤਾ ਪਿਰੁ ਪਾਏ ਰਾਤੀ ਸਾਚੈ ਨਾਏ ॥੨॥
O Nanak, she is happy, and she obtains her Husband Lord, if she is attuned to the True Name. ||2||

ਪਿਰੁ ਧਨ ਭਾਵੈ ਤਾ ਪਿਰ ਭਾਵੈ ਨਾਰੀ ਜੀਉ ॥
If the soul-bride is pleasing to her Husband Lord, then the Husband Lord will love His bride.

ਰੰਗਿ ਪ੍ਰੀਤਮ ਰਾਤੀ ਗੁਰ ਕੈ ਸਬਦਿ ਵੀਚਾਰੀ ਜੀਉ ॥
Imbued with the love of her Beloved, she contemplates the Word of the Guru's Shabad.

ਗੁਰ ਸਬਦਿ ਵੀਚਾਰੀ ਨਾਹ ਪਿਆਰੀ ਨਿਵਿ ਨਿਵਿ ਭਗਤਿ ਕਰੇਈ ॥
She contemplates the Guru's Shabads, and her Husband Lord loves her; in deep humility, she worships Him in loving devotion.

ਮਾਇਆ ਮੋਹੁ ਜਲਾਏ ਪ੍ਰੀਤਮੁ ਰਸ ਮਹਿ ਰੰਗੁ ਕਰੇਈ ॥
She burns away her emotional attachment to Maya, and in love, she loves her Beloved.

ਪ੍ਰਭ ਸਾਚੇ ਸੇਤੀ ਰੰਗਿ ਰੰਗੇਤੀ ਲਾਲ ਭਈ ਮਨੁ ਮਾਰੀ ॥
She is imbued and drenched with the Love of the True Lord; she has become beautiful, by conquering her mind.

ਨਾਨਕ ਸਾਚਿ ਵਸੀ ਸੋਹਾਗਣਿ ਪਿਰ ਸਿਉ ਪ੍ਰੀਤਿ ਪਿਆਰੀ ॥੩॥
O Nanak, the happy soul-bride abides in Truth; she loves to love her Husband Lord. ||3||

ਪਿਰ ਘਰਿ ਸੋਹੈ ਨਾਰਿ ਜੇ ਪਿਰ ਭਾਵਏ ਜੀਉ ॥
The soul-bride looks so beautiful in the home of her Husband Lord, if she is pleasing to Him.

ਝੂਠੇ ਵੈਣ ਚਵੇ ਕਾਮਿ ਨ ਆਵਏ ਜੀਉ ॥
It is of no use at all to speak false words.

ਝੂਠੁ ਅਲਾਵੈ ਕਾਮਿ ਨ ਆਵੈ ਨਾ ਪਿਰੁ ਦੇਖੈ ਨੈਣੀ ॥
If she speaks false, it is of no use to her, and she does not see her Husband Lord with her eyes.

ਅਵਗੁਣਿਆਰੀ ਕੰਤਿ ਵਿਸਾਰੀ ਛੂਟੀ ਵਿਧਣ ਰੈਣੀ ॥
Worthless, forgotten and abandoned by her Husband Lord, she passes her life-night without her Lord and Master.

ਗੁਰ ਸਬਦੁ ਨ ਮਾਨੈ ਫਾਹੀ ਫਾਥੀ ਸਾ ਧਨ ਮਹਲੁ ਨ ਪਾਏ ॥
Such a wife does not believe in the Word of the Guru's Shabad; she is caught in the net of the world, and does not obtain the Mansion of the Lord's Presence.

ਨਾਨਕ ਆਪੇ ਆਪੁ ਪਛਾਣੈ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਸਹਜਿ ਸਮਾਏ ॥੪॥
O Nanak, if she understands her own self, then, as Gurmukh, she merges in celestial peace. ||4||

ਧਨ ਸੋਹਾਗਣਿ ਨਾਰਿ ਜਿਨਿ ਪਿਰੁ ਜਾਣਿਆ ਜੀਉ ॥
Blessed is that soul-bride, who knows her Husband Lord.

ਨਾਮ ਬਿਨਾ ਕੂੜਿਆਰਿ ਕੂੜੁ ਕਮਾਣਿਆ ਜੀਉ ॥
Without the Naam, she is false, and her actions are false as well.

ਹਰਿ ਭਗਤਿ ਸੁਹਾਵੀ ਸਾਚੇ ਭਾਵੀ ਭਾਇ ਭਗਤਿ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਰਾਤੀ ॥
Devotional worship of the Lord is beautiful; the True Lord loves it. So immerse yourself in loving devotional worship of God.

ਪਿਰੁ ਰਲੀਆਲਾ ਜੋਬਨਿ ਬਾਲਾ ਤਿਸੁ ਰਾਵੇ ਰੰਗਿ ਰਾਤੀ ॥
My Husband Lord is playful and innocent; imbued with His Love, I enjoy Him.

ਗੁਰ ਸਬਦਿ ਵਿਗਾਸੀ ਸਹੁ ਰਾਵਾਸੀ ਫਲੁ ਪਾਇਆ ਗੁਣਕਾਰੀ ॥
She blossoms forth through the Word of the Guru's Shabad; she ravishes her Husband Lord, and obtains the most noble reward.

ਨਾਨਕ ਸਾਚੁ ਮਿਲੈ ਵਡਿਆਈ ਪਿਰ ਘਰਿ ਸੋਹੈ ਨਾਰੀ ॥੫॥੩॥
O Nanak, in Truth, she obtains glory; in her Husband's home, the soul-bride looks beautiful. ||5||3||


Hukamnama at Gurdwara Sahib Fremont on new year's day.



Pretty amazing - pretty perfect. Aside from the fact that it was read/sung so beautifully by Harpreet Singh. As soon as we finished saying Fateh after the Hukamnama, Bhenji and I turned to each other and... We both felt the same way. Somehow, it was just perfect as "the year's Hukamnama". I used to be pretty attached to this Shabad when I was younger, but I didn't know what it meant then. It means so much more to me now that I at least vaguely understand it.

<3

bhullchukmaaf
Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsaa Waheguru Ji Ki Fatehhh

The end of an era.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

Here we go.

:)

bhullchukmaaf
Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsaa Waheguru Ji Ki Fatehh

18 Years Today

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

No, not my birthday {again}. It's been eighteen years since my father, mother, and I came to the U.S. Eighteen years since my mother has seen her home. Eighteen years since I left the place that I've yearned for like no other. Eighteen years since we escaped the horror that has made so many of us hate India...

I've been thinking about this all day, and I guess I somehow imagined some really poignant post or something. Now that I'm here, though, I'm not sure what exactly I want to say.

I've wondered many times how our lives might have been different had we never moved here, and stayed in India. So much would have been different. Our family might never have received Amrit. I might not have fallen in love with reading and writing, or photography, or all the other things I love so much. I might never have met either of my best friends, or so many of the other people I love and call friends. I don't want to say so much would have been missing from my life, because who knows what I might have had in my life in India - but things would have been pretty different. Or maybe not. We'll never know, will we?

I'm not sure exactly how I feel. I just know how happy, and also how sad I felt when I finally got to go to India in 2006. I have seriously considered living in India once I'm an 'adult', but there are a lot of things to think about. I'm just going to say I'm still a little young for that, and put it out of my mind.

How about you? Were you born in India, or whatever country you reside in now? If you were born in India and live somewhere else now, how do you feel about that? How do you feel about India?

bhullchukmaaf
Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

---

edit: I keep accidentally saving as draft instead of publishing the post. Whoops!

p.s. Comments replied to.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

Wow, bloggie, it's been 3 years since my first post.. And 194 public posts later, here we are. Once again at the celebration of the birth of Sikhi..

I don't know if I've ever written another post that satisfied me as much as this one.

So much has happened since then, and so much has changed. I haven't done a good job of chronicling it all, though I wish I had, but I'm not going to dwell on that. I'm just going to work harder at doing what I want from now on, so there are no complaints afterward.

I want to take this moment to thank anyone who's ever stopped by to read something, asked a question or answered one, laughed at something I said, or left a few kind words to help make my day better. I also want to apologize for broken promises made on this blog {yes, there are a few..}, and I also want to apologize to those of you who I have lost touch with. Only one or two of you will probably ever read this, but there are definitely more. I lost some good friends when that happened - but know that I'll never forget you.

And thank you Guru Sahib, for all that You have given me, and all You have taken away. This blog isn't really a great view into my life anymore. I just never really got into it with this blog, not the way I was with the one before it, but that will change, with Guru Sahib's Kirpaa.

I love you, bloggie.

I love You, Guru Ji.

And I love you, Sangat Ji.

<3.

bhullchukmaaf
Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

Happy Birthday, Novtej Singh!

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Though I doubt he's ever going to read this..

Happy Birthday, Novtej Veerji!

Internet ne duniya kinni chhoti kar dithi. It's because of blogging and forums that I've met and made friends with so many Sikhs from all around the world, and I really cherish it. Though things have changed a lot since I first started blogging, I haven't let go of all these people. Some whose blogs I follow(ed) silently, some whose I left a comment or two on - some of whom I became good friends with, and out of those are the few who I am still friends with.

I'm just in awe at where technology has taken us, and what it's provided us with - and I'm very glad I happened upon Veerji's blog somehow, because it's one I've loved reading since the beginning. I know we don't really know each other, but it's cool to 'know' him!

I hope you had a lovely day, and may Guru Sahib bless you always with Chardikalaa _/\_

And now I feel a little bad about hijacking a birthday post =p but...

We just came back from Guruduara Sahib a little while ago. The lights are all still up, including the blue light tube wrapped around the Nishan Sahib. I went outside to do prakarma.. I stood in front of the Nishan Sahib, and when I looked up, I could see the rain falling in the light from the spotlights on the ground. When I came back to the place where I started from and looked up again, I kept my face up and eyes open as long as I could - I was in absolute awe. I was just mesmerized. It was so beautiful, and I just couldn't get over it.

Why do I get so emotional over such little things? I find so often my heart welling up with emotion, swelling fit to burst, and it's like this ache inside from all the beauty I see/experience. And then something happens, and I feel like rain is pouring through me, inside me, washing it all away, and I'm empty, and it's all gone... Until it happens again.

I'm so weird.

bhull chuk maaf karna Jeeo _/\_

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh